Everyone please appreciate Amy Poehler more
Everyone please appreciate Amy Poehler more
AND AFTER I EXPLAIN WHY, THEY GONNA BE URS TOO
THERE R 3 IN THE WORLD BUT IM GONNA FOCUS ON THE YELLOWSTONE ONE BC IT’S CLOSEST TO ME AND ALSO IS MOST LIKELY TO ERUPT SOONEST
BASICALLY, FORGET UR MENTAL IMAGE OF A TYPICAL VOLCANO. THIS AINT NO CUTESY SCIENCE FAIR CONE SHIT. THIS MOTHERFUCKER TAKES UP THREE STATES AND SITS UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE………LIKE SOMETHING DANGEROUS……THAT STAYS UNDERGROUND. LIKE A GROUNDHOG. BUT DEADLY. LIKE A DEADLY GROUNDHOG.
OK SO THIS BRUH JUST CHILLS THERE TAKING UP HUNDREDS OF SQUARE MILES OF UNDERGROUND AMERICA ALRIGHT?? AND ITS LITERALLY RISING AT A RATE OF SIX INCHES A YEAR. THATS BULLSHIT SPEED. MOUNTAINS DONT EVEN RISE SIX MILLIMETRES A YEAR AND THOSE ARE GODDAMN MOUNTAINS. THIS FUCKER IS SERIOUS.
SO WHY IS THAT SO SCARY, HUH???? JUST SOME SHIT RISIN UP A BIT??? NO, MOTHERFUCKER. THIS SHIT COULD ERUPT AT LITERALLY ANY MOMENT WITHOUT NOTICE. NOTHIN. NO WARNING SIGNS. IT COULD LITERALLY JUST EXPLODE AT ANY FUCKING SECOND.
AND WHEN IT DOES, THATS THE FUN BIT. BASICALLY, IF YOU LIVE IN THE CENTRAL USA, YOURE LUCKY, BECAUSE YOU GET INSTANT DEATH BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HITS YOU. WYOMING, IDAHO, COLORADO, MONTANA, UTAH, ETC. UR DEAD WITHIN SECONDS BECAUSE THE GROUND UNDER YOUR FEET WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE AND INSTANTLY KILL YOU. IF YOU LIVE FURTHER AWAY IN NORTH AMERICA, THATS THE WORST. I LIVE IN THE WORST POSSIBLE PLACE FOR THIS SHIT. IF YOURE A FEW HUNDRED MILES AWAY, THATS THE SCARIEST, BECAUSE YOU WILL DIE, AND PAINFULLY, BUT YOULL KNOW IT’S COMING AND YOU CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT. WHERE I LIVE, I’LL GET ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF WARNING. AN HOUR AND A HALF TO LITERALLY SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE I LOVE, BECAUSE THEN THE PYROCLASTIC FLOW WILL BE HERE AND SCORCH EVERYONE TO DEATH. THERES NO GETTING AWAY. IF YOURE IN NORTH AMERICA, YOURE FUCKING DEAD, NO MATTER WHAT, WITHIN HOURS.
AND IF YOU LIVE IN CHINA OR ENGLAND OR SOME SHIT YOURE PROBABLY LIKE “WHATEVER, LATER LOSERS, WE FINE”
EVEN IF THE RESULTING TSUNAMIS AND STORMS AND EARTHQUAKES AND HUGELY RISING SEA LEVELS DONT FUCK YOU OVER, NUCLEAR WINTER SURE WILL
WHATS NUCLEAR WINTER, YOU ASK? WELL LEMME FUCKIN TELL U, SHORT STACK. THATS WHEN THE VOLCANIC ASH BLOTS OUT THE SUN AND CAUSES THE TEMPERATURE TO DROP THIRTY-ODD DEGREES CELSIUS. FOR 12 YEARS. STRAIGHT. ALL OVER THE PLANET. NO SUNLIGHT, PERPETUAL SNOW, PERMANENT COLD. EVERYWHERE. THAT MEANS NO HYDROELECTRIC POWER, NO NATURAL GAS, NO CROPS OR FARMING OR LIVESTOCK OR FOOD PRODUCTION. HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKERS. I WASNT KIDDING WHEN I SAID THE PEOPLE WHO DIE INSTANTLY ARE LUCKY.
BY THE WAY, IN CASE UR CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITY TO SURVIVE NUCLEAR WINTER - DONT BE. THAT SHITS WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS. NOT THE METEOR IMPACT, NAH THEY WAS FINE FOR THAT SHIT. IT WAS NUCLEAR WINTER THAT KILLED MILLIONS OF SPECIES OF DINOS. GOOD LUCK.
DID I MENTION THERES THREE OF THEM AROUND THE WORLD?? ???? DID I MENTION NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHEN THEYRE GOING TO ERUPT?? DID I MENTION THEY GIVE NO WARNING???? ???? AND THEY COULD FEASIBLY ERUPT AT ANY MOMENT????
I WARNED U THIS SHIT WOULD FUCK U UP MAN I FUCKIN WARNED YOU GOD DAMN I NEED 2 SIT DOWN
i literally never get tired of this post
Guards: Oh no. Wait. Stop. No. Don’t steal those. Get back here, you criminal. (Pfft! Can’t believe they’re falling for it!)
I read that in a sarcastic voice
This one never gets old.
BEST ASSASSINATION PLOT.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS GIF
support our troops
I want this posted on every web page ever created
Next level problem solvers.
James for Emperor
the last one killed me
Tutorial: how to make a study schedule.
- Make a reference sheet with separate lists for each subject. This reference sheet is used to orient your daily studying.
- List the material you need to study for each subject. Be more specific than you would be on a study schedule and make sure you put down everything you need to go over.
- On your schedule, highlight the exam dates and deadlines and put down any relevant information.
- Using your reference sheet, assign certain material to go through each day.
- If you haven’t been working on study material throughout the semester; schedule days before your study leave to work on study sheets for revision, flash cards, summaries, whatever you use to study.
- Take a day to gather your study material before your study leave begins. Like the weekend classes end or so. This will save you a lot of time when you sit down to study every day.
- Schedule your studying so that you start studying for the last final first, and the first final last. Make sure you start this early enough to give yourself time to revise for the subjects you need to.
- If you have a day between each of your finals, take the night of the final off and revise for the next exam the day after. If not, take the couple of hours after your exam off then revise for the next one.
- Schedule the harder/heavier material in a subject first, so that you work on that material when you have more energy.
- If you’re taking subjects that you have difficulty with, or subjects with a heavy workload; schedule catch up days. However, don’t let that encourage you to slack off. Try to stick to your schedule and only rely on the catch up days if you really need to, and if you don’t; then it’s a day off!
- Also, schedule days off… a day or if you can’t afford it, half a day. I can’t stress how important it is to take time for yourself, it’ll help you avoid burnout.
Disclaimer: this is the way I’ve been making study schedules since I started college. By no means am I claiming it’s perfect or that everybody should follow it.
I’m sorry I’m posting this by the end of the year when a lot of people are already done with exams, but perhaps it’ll be helpful for people taking summer courses now? And also for next year :)
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]